What is this consciousness? When I die, will I wake up in another consciousness? Are we just souls going through a revolving door? I won’t know I’ve lived another life.

All we know is who we are right now. No before or after. We get 60 yrs of memory if we are lucky, and then we blink into nothing or we end up in another life. This is why death scares so many. We don’t want to not exist. We think our existence is so important that we cannot imagine its ending. But what if another just begins again?

Maybe I’m just rambling in my half inebriated state. I am afraid of death. Of not existing.
So there you have it. I’m gonna be 80, screaming and kicking when death comes knocking.

That One Time When I Was a Unicorn

I used to be a unicorn. No really, though, that’s what I was called. Roughly defined as a single female in the swinger community who has sex with swinger couples.

Threesomes. Every guy’s dream. Well, not every guy. I know a couple guys who prefer one on one sex. Everyone has their own preferences. Anyway, it was a lot of fun. I went to a lot of the swinger events with my favorite couple. Ran up and down the halls of a fully booked hotel floor naked and felt absolutely no shame.

Now, in a committed relationship, I am re-entering the swinger community, only part time, as a couple. My SO just had his first successful threesome experience with me and a married woman whose husband lets her play alone sometimes and he LOVED it. I’ve been dubbed the best girlfriend ever. It was just as much for me as it was for him 😉 The lady is a little over-eager, I’ll admit. Within 12 hours she was texting about round 2..which is kind of a turn off coupled with a compliment for me. I think I was a very well-endowed male in a past life and over-eager females are not attractive to me. I’m very girly, but when it comes to sex, my emotions don’t rule me, just the physical. I had to let her and her husband know we aren’t making the swinging thing an entire lifestyle change for us. It’s just for fun once in a while when we get the urge.

What has amazed me is the fact that my relationship has really flourished and communication has improved drastically since the experience. He isn’t keeping everything in his head as he used to, and we are a lot more open with each other. For some couples, this type of thing would ruin them. For others, it helps them grow closer.

I’m thankful that it was the latter. 🙂