It’s all fun and games til I fall on my ass in the lobby of the building I work in on my birthday. My bf and I hadn’t even been speaking for two days and I didn’t even want to be at home risking the chance he wasn’t going to put his disappointment in me aside to celebrate my birthday. I had had to txt him at 11am to ask him if I was still being punished because it was my birthday and I just wanted everything to be okay at least on that day. He said “happy birthday to you”… Just that. My feelings hurt, I proceeded to drink away my feelings… And then I drank til I didn’t feel anything at all.

We had a work outing to celebrate last quarter and hitting our numbers, and it just happened to be open bar. AND it was my birthday. Open bar AND my birthday? Really, people, this is just ASKING me to do things I regret.

Ever had 50 people sing you happy birthday in a bar? I can say I have 🙂 I also won an iPad mini. I walked up to my manager and said “guess what? I’m drinking my feelings!” And proceeded to chug the two cranberry juice and vodkas I had in my hand. When the team meeting ended at 4, 8 cranberry juice and vodkas later, a few of us went to a different bar. Someone bought me a shot of tequila..and that’s what tipped the scales. Most of anything after that moment was told to me.

I was told I looked at one of my male coworker/friends and said “I’m too drunk”. I stumbled alongside him to our office building and sat down in the lobby while he grabbed his bag. When he got back, I stood up to go with him and hit the floor. I remember that vaguely. I don’t remember anything else til I was vomiting in his bathroom and telling him he couldn’t hold my hair, I got it, and to leave the bathroom. I don’t remember laying down on his bed and passing out.

I woke up at 4am when he brought me water and I asked where I was. The first words out of his mouth were, “don’t panic. You’re at my place”. When I found out it was 4 in the morning, I panicked. I thought my bf was probably worried but my phone had died 12 hours earlier. Just what needed to happen when we are already having relationship problems. Fucking great. But I threw up the water I had just drank so there was no way I could get out of that bed yet. I went back to sleep til 7 and then walked the three blocks to my car. After thanking my coworker for babysitting me of course. With a dead phone and rather large memory gaps, who knows what would have happened if he wouldn’t have taken care of me. He said I was obviously an experienced drinker because I made his job easy. No muss, no fuss and I managed not to lose my new iPad or any personal items. Apparently, on the walk to his place, I was clinging to my new iPad for dear life saying, “I can’t lose this, it’s my birthday, I won it and it’s mine”. I’m going to consider “experienced drinker” a compliment.

When I got home, I told him the truth about what happened. He actually thought I was at my best friend’s house and hadn’t even been worried. On another note, I’d say my birthday was a success this year. The hangover was just as epic.


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