Cool night air whispers across skin as I throw my head back and see the stars, literally. The sounds of water lapping gently at the boat’s side mixed with harsh breathing and moans of pleasure. I refuse to meet his eyes, opting for the night sky as once again my body betrays my better judgment, and in this moment I am alive. We move across the length of the boat in a controlled frenzy.. Never enough. All there is is feeling, sensation, this moment..
We were always good at this and nothing else. Bitterness gives way to just being here. Now. And now is all that matters. Collapsing in a tangled heap on the bow, feeling the breeze on heated skin, breath calms slowly as reality comes into focus.
I push it aside, as it doesn’t matter. Nothing changes. That was a moment. Nothing more. In the big picture, moments are just moments and they all come together to illustrate life. In that moment I was more alive than I’ve ever been. I drive home in a daze, but no regrets. Guilt isn’t really something I feel when no one else seems to care where I am.